Peace instead of Planning.

Hello friends :)

This is something I would normally write in my journal, but felt like sharing. Hope it encourages someone, even if just one. 

My Jesus Calling today states :

"Bring me your weakness, and receive My Peace. Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering that I am sovereign over everything. Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning. Instead, let thankfulness and trust be your guides through this day; they will keep you close to Me. As you live in the radiance of My Presence, My Peace shines upon you. You will cease to notice how weak or strong you feel, because you will be focusing on Me. The best way to get through this day is step by step with Me. Continue this intimate journey, trusting that the path you are following is headed for heaven."

Normally these short paragraphs speak to me on some level. Pointing out my very need for Jesus and inevitably encouraging me. Sometimes I may not remember to read it until I'm washing dishes at night, but even then I'm surprised how closely it spoke to my day. You see, I'm a planner and organizer. I say I like surprises, but deep down I'm not exactly sure that's true. I feel better as a person if 90-95% of my life is organized. Having things organized suggests I need control over everything in my life...(that's a different blog post!) So you can imagine the thoughts I have reading this tiny paragraph. "Don't plan?" Yikes! 

Over the last week, God has been speaking to me about how He is our provider. Recent job changes have put us in a position where we will fully rely on said provision. In all my years, I've always claimed He is my provider. And I certainly believe it. Having to actually live out of His provision, now that's another story. 

Romans 13: 11-14 says, "And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts."

This is where faith comes in. I'm learning and re-learning so much about how we are to "walk by faith and not by sight". It might seem elementary to some, but it's all too familiar as of lately. I know He will "give me every desire of my heart" if I seek Him first. To know that He knows my need before I do is reassuring. Today I choose to wear His peace. 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6 & 7

Update: One year later...

I can hardly believe it's been over a year since I wrote a post. I re-read my last blog and it said, "This may be my last blog until Jubilee decides to come..." I didn't think that it would be 14 months later. Sorry. Well, let me back pedal and catch you up to speed :) 

In the early morning hours of June 4, 2012, my water broke thus sending me into labor 4 weeks early. At 3:31 P.M, almost 13 hours later, our little Jubilee Eliana was born! It was such an exciting moment. Because she was early, I felt as though I wasn't as prepared emotionally. Obvious joy and thankfulness, and a purpose I can't describe with words. I cried only tears of joy, as there wasn't much pain due to an epidural---modern medicine is something to marvel!  ;)---  She came so fast, only 30 minutes of pushing! I had my mom, my sister, and DJ to help me through labor. He was a champ, not even flinching when it came time to cut the umbilical cord! I believe that fatherhood came naturally to him. I watched that night as he transformed from a man into a father. He held her so delicately yet protectively as he sang to her and whispered into her tiny, little ears how much he loved her. It was beautiful! A Kingdom transaction happened that day. A deposit onto earth, if you will. "This child we have prayed for and God answered our prayer" (1 Sam.)  We weren't just responsible for ourselves anymore, God had given us this beautiful little gift. Even though bed rest was hard at times, it was so worth it in that moment!

Now flash forward! Jubilee is busy, busy, busy! I am loving being home with her! She keeps me on my toes, for sure! She is very hesitant to walk by herself, but loves to hold fingers and will go all day. We are working on stacking blocks and practice sitting in her little wooden chair from Nana and Popsie's house. She is starting to form words out of all her babbling, mostly Da-da, Ma-ma, Nen Nen (Aunt Jenny), Jo-Jo (Grandma Joan), meow, roar, and panting like a dog, to name a few :) Everyday she learns something new! We are also working on getting our bottom molars (teeth #'s 11 and 12!)! It seems they came in so fast, but not without times of whining/crying and much snuggling to be had. We just returned from our yearly girls trip to Clear Lake. This was Jubilee's first time camping and swimming in the lake. She is a little fish, even trying to go in face first! She doesn't like to play in the sand a whole lot, being dirty is not really her thing! There wasn't much relaxing trying to keep up with her, but it was a fun experience! We are so blessed to have her in our lives and thank God every day for giving her to us! 

DJ is busy as always! He and his best friend, Tony, have started a painting business called S & R Painting and Staining. They are enjoying it very much and have expanded their clientele very quickly. Their goal is to run the business until the Lord brings them into what they hope to be the next phase, life coaching. This is something DJ has wanted to do for awhile and now the Lord is starting to open doors and almost daily shows him something pertaining to this passion of his! He continues to volunteer at Wind and Fire Ministries with several different programs, including the Safe Lane within Client Services (formerly known as CRTEC- Center to Restore Trafficked and Exploited Children), fund raising for the TIP-ID National Training Center building, and teaching internship classes starting in September. He has many other exciting things stirring in the pot! I have just loved watching him grow and change over the last 6 years and I'm eager to see what the Lord has next for him!

Like I said before, I am staying home with Jubilee and loving it!! Truly an amazing opportunity! We like to stay busy whether it be at home or out with others! We like to spend time playing with cousins or friends at parks and splash pads. It seems like there is always something to do! Other than being a Mommy, I participate in as much as possible with WFM. My favorite this summer has been helping with the CSA program picking vegetables in the high tunnel. I have loved learning new ways to grow and the many different varieties of vegetables. I am looking forward to expanding my horizons this fall by canning and teaching myself how to freeze, dehydrate, and juice the harvest that comes in! I'm thankful for a chance to pursue my creativity in a business with my sister in law, Danielle, as well. Combined with my love for administrating and social networking and her craftiness with a sewing machine, we formed Lily Bean: Restoring Old to New. We are looking forward to expanding from restored sweater mittens to many other crafty projects as time sees fit! Our goal is to take some product to some craft shows this fall!  I also have some other adventures ahead and will share as they come about! 

Thank you for sticking around and sorry again for the length of time it took to get back on here! I have really missed sharing! Blessings to each of you!

The Steens- DJ, Nicole, & Jubilee

Remembering the beginning...

  With the beginning of June soon to come, I quickly realize that means July 1 is one month away, only 35 days until we meet our daughter! It seems like just yesterday that we were in Israel finding out we were pregnant! I was sitting on our room's balcony, feeling so full of life, wanting to scream it at the top of my lungs! DJ and I chose to keep it between us for the first week we were there and it was something I'll never forget. Being able to look DJ in the eye and he'd have that twinkle, that only we knew why it was there. Knowing there was life growing inside of me that God chose to allow with His very perfect timing and knowing how very significant it was that we find out in Israel. 

  After deciding to let the others in on the big secret, I had those that wanted to pray and bless the pregnancy. I'll never forget the day that the group gathered around us on top of Mount Carmel and prayed for our little one. Words such as "warrior"and "double portion"  came over and over again. And the Lord spoke to me. He said," This is my pregnancy! Trust me!" Since that day, I've had peace with every part of this pregnancy. Even now, I look down at my belly and I can't help but smile...it's been 8 months of ups and downs, but we put our trust in Him, knowing that He would guard and protect our precious gift. And now as we face the 35 wk mark, I am undone with blessing, joy, and peace. God is good and He truly gives us the desires of our hearts!
                        *     *     *     *     *

  Now we are in preparation mode, acquiring last minute necessities, packing hospital bags and the baby bag, and working on relaxation and breathing methods (more me, than DJ). I've always been the type to feel more comfortable in a situation having already experienced something similar to it. This will be mostly all new to me. Therefore I'm doing what I can to prepare, hoping I remember when I'm actually in labor! :) Depending on when she decides to come, this may be my last blog until after she is here! I'll post on Facebook best I can! Thank you for your continued prayers! Blessings!!

Stir Crazy!

  The time is drawing near for this little one to come...8 weeks to go! I can hardly believe how soon we'll be holding her and doing all the things a new Mommy and Daddy get to do! Although it seems to have gone somewhat quickly, I'm in awe that I've been able to make it 3 months on bed rest! Today I am definitely feeling STIR CRAZY! It's a beautiful day outside and having company come and then watch them leave was hard. Being able to just go grocery shopping or go on a walk or a road trip with DJ...the simple things that I once took for granted. I am so longing to be able to do simple things again! I have been so thankful for a schedule that would allow me to be on bed rest and a husband to be here to help me through. I have had some moments of stillness that I enjoyed, but today...I AM STIR CRAZY! 

  I think what I have learned is to not hold emotions in, but communicate with DJ as much as possible what I'm feeling. Even if I feel it might sound sillier outside my head, just getting it out really helps. I've also learned that it's okay to cry. Sad, happy, mad, irritated, nervous, etc. With all these extra hormones, it's bound to happen. I've appreciated DJ letting it be okay and offering up his shoulder to cry on. Don't get me wrong, we laugh and plan and dream. There are many, many good days. Not being able to lead a "normal" life and sometimes being alone during the day catch up to you.

  If I could offer advice to anyone on bed rest, it would be to fully rely on your husband! Make him part of your day and make an effort to have conversation not having technology in the background. I think it's so important to open up and reveal those things that seem to get pent up so easily.

I would also say that keeping date night is so important! It may not be much, but putting a movie on and eating something a little nicer or out of the ordinary really breaks up times and meals that have become routine. 

All in all, I must go all the way back to the beginning of this pregnancy and remember what God told me in Israel. He said," This is my (God) pregnancy. Trust in me." So...here starts my 8 week countdown to July 1!!